Typically we find ourselves too busy to even think about how we feel let alone to actually take time to feel. Whether it’s our conditioned beliefs, or our hyperactive minds we continue to be stuck in the same old rut. We spin our wheels trying to make life slow down and we can hear our selves screaming for inner peace. Einstein reminds us we can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it, but that’s exactly what we try to do. We try to think our way through life. I’m suggesting we feel first, then think. Our thoughts are our feelings in form.
My very first therapy visit found me uttering, “I’m looking to feel peace on the inside.” I spent thousands of dollars and tons of hours in therapy. Admittedly, I was better for the experience, but never really walked away with inner peace. In fact, I struggled for many years to make sense of why I need to make sense of my story, but that’s another article.
Fast forward, how I grew peaceful inwardly and outwardly. Three little words:
• Observe • Accept • Listen
Let me explain…
First, I became the observer of myself. I made a conscious effort to observe my behaviors. Once I could “see” the behavior from an outside perspective I felt the feeling inside of me that the behavior was causing. I literally felt the sensation in my body. After I felt it I labeled it: heavy, constricting, tight, etc. I also identified where I could feel it in my physical body. Once it was felt and labeled I realized I could work with it. I felt empowered, and in control. It no longer had power to throw me into chaos and drama.
As the observer, I began to slowly accept what was happening in my body. Acceptance does not mean you have to like something, or condone it, it simply means you allow it to be. In this case I was allowing myself to feel my feelings without any judgement. I also stopped trying to cover up what I was feeling. I made the choice to become friendly towards the feeling. I even talked to it. I soothed it with unconditional acceptance. I quickly realized the more acceptance I showed for it the quieter it became.
Once I was safely observing and accepting I instinctively knew it was time to listen to my body’s sensations. I spent a lot of time being in drama. Being in something means we are drowning in it. I made the conscious decision to be with the drama and not in it. I took the position of the observer. I felt the drama unfold and take up residence in my body. I gave it room by acknowledging and accepting it and finally I listened to it. Again, I talked to it. I asked it what was really going on and what wanted to be revealed to me. I was thrilled when I could “hear” the answers. One answer lead to another and another until finally there was one less dramatic situation in my life.
Could it have been that easy? Yes! This concept is so simple that even today, as I practice this technique, I smile at the simplicity.